It’s easy to take sides when you get that call from your bestie, letting the swear words fly:…

Sometimes it’s hard to know what to say, especially when someone tells you something that’s intense, scary, sad, or awful.

If you’re living with your spouse or long term partner, chances are you have figured out a way to negotiate chores around the house. Chances are also that some of the chores or the delegation of them can cause arguments or friction between the two of you.

I can’t tell you how often friends of mine and clients share similar stories of jumping to the idea of divorce after a fight. While divorce can be a viable option in some cases, it often doesn’t have to be.

There are many people out there (maybe even you?) who don’t know what’s going on with their finances. Oftentimes the financial responsibility falls onto one of the spouses in a couple, while the other stays in the dark. 

It’s common to struggle during these times of transition. We resist the change. We want to hold onto summer, to our single life, to the kids before they leave for college… 

In my experience, therapy can be preventative medicine, not just for when things go wrong. It’s a way to create flow, ease, understanding, and learning about your partner. 

Who you marry is one of the most important decisions you will ever make, but the friends we make and keep are equally important.

Having space without the kids means going back to the time before you were married before you had all these responsibilities, when you could actually date each other AND enjoy downtime alone. 

What if we dated our spouses once a week and had an affair with them instead of with someone outside of the relationship?

Feelings are never going to be logical. They are a sensation that comes with an emotion that has a chemical response in our bodies. And it’s a good thing to feel them! 

You don’t mean to yell at your husband when he buys the wrong chicken, but you do because you’re having people for dinner and you’re under stress and now it’s too late to follow the recipe you had in mind. You get angry and you show it. 

No matter who it’s with, conflict is what builds our strength and connection, while avoidance damages it. 

In any relationship, be it with a partner or a friend, there is bound to be a time when one person hurts the other, often unintentionally. 

Last week we covered how to stay sane when traveling WITH your partner; this week we’re talking about what to do when you travel separately from your partner.

So what are we supposed to do when each partner is so diametrically different? What happens when our views on travel time or anything else are in conflict with our favorite person in the whole world? Chances are it’s a little bumpy. 

When we say I love you, but we chronically don’t listen…When we say we’ll do something - but don’t…Our actions are speaking for us, telling a story for us. I encourage all of us to listen to ourselves- What are your actions really saying? Pay attention to the things you’re doing that you’ll say you’ll do. Pay attention to what it is you’re really communicating.

I’ve been talking about this “Hell Yea” concept as a way to shift the energy within your relationship - and your life. But does it also apply to the bedroom? How? I work with a lot of couples where sex is an issue, but it is really about connection. Let’s explore:

I work with a lot of couples in which it seems the issue is football, but really it’s about connection. He loves football and it’s his way of belonging to something bigger. She hates football and finds it a waste of time. He spends all Saturday watching the game with his friends, excited to…

There’s nothing more painful than fighting with your favorite people in the world, partner and kids. When you get in a fight with your kids, it doesn’t carry on for weeks. But when we fight with our significant others the hurt and pain can and often does last weeks. And with each passing day, the silent distance grows, and with it grows the pain.