why did you get married in the first place?

A friend recently told me a funny story about her and her husband being in the shower together, being intimate, and he said to her, “This is why I married you, to NOT do things on your honey-do list!” 

She thought to herself, “Hmmm, I think I married you because we’re such good partners in getting things on the honey-do list completed.” 

This got me thinking: do you know why you got married? 

It’s something to really think about, especially if you’ve been married for a while. See if you can remember all the feelings, dreams and wishes that went into that decision. What were your fantasies about marriage and a lifelong commitment?

Oftentimes, we marry someone who comes from a totally different type of family and has wildly different expectations about what a marriage should look like. 

Maybe you came from a loud family that didn’t mind shouting and having conflict. Or maybe you came from a quiet family that didn’t express conflict loudly. 

Regardless, the differences between each spouse’s family of origin are often the culprits of many of the disagreements that occur in long-term relationships. 

In my couples therapy practice, I like helping my clients make their unconscious ideas, habits, and expectations more conscious. This is how we make change and create more harmony at home! 

So take a moment today to do this: 

Lay out what your thoughts and expectations are for your marriage. Make them something conscientious and something to discuss and share. 

When we have these kinds of conversations, we grow and mature, and that’s what it’s all about. 

To renewing our internal vows,

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