a masterclass in what NOT to do
Remember last week when I told you about watching Nobody Wants This with my daughter? Well, we also watched Anyone But You—and wow, what a contrast.
If Nobody Wants This showed us what true intimacy and vulnerability can look like, Anyone But You was a masterclass in what not to do in a relationship. Every moment of conflict is dragged out because the characters refuse to have a direct conversation. Instead, they dance around the issue, make assumptions, and act out instead of just saying the thing.
And the silent treatment? That’s not a power move—it’s a relationship killer.
One of the most damaging patterns I see in relationships is when someone’s feelings get hurt, but instead of calling it out, they go icy. They withdraw. They punish with distance instead of words. And while this might feel like self-protection in the moment, it actually does the opposite—it creates more disconnection, more misunderstandings, and a whole lot of unnecessary resentment.
What Healthy Communication Looks Like
In contrast, shows like Ted Lasso and Nobody Wants This highlight the right way to navigate conflict—with vulnerability, directness, and emotional honesty. Instead of letting things fester, characters ask the hard questions. They say what’s true, even when it’s hard—and the relationships are stronger for it.
Now let me be clear - I’m a huge fan of the “trigger pause process,” something I teach in my Relationship Reboot course that involves noticing when you’re activated, taking a beat before reacting, and then responding with clarity. However, the silent treatment is not the same as pausing to process.
A critical piece of communication is understanding the difference between intention and impact—what someone meant to do vs. how it actually landed. If something hurt you, say it. Give the other person the chance to understand and repair, rather than expecting them to read your mind.
A Challenge for You
This week, if something feels off between you and your partner, don’t sweep it under the rug. Instead, take a deep breath and ask:
"Hey, something feels off between us. Do you feel that too? What do you think is going on?"
This small act can change the entire dynamic of your relationship.
So tell me—are you more of a Ted Lasso or an Anyone But You communicator?
With love,
