self-care + your relationship
We’ve been told that self care helps you feel better, but have you heard that self care makes you sexier?
And I don’t just mean the typical “look better naked” when you work out type of sexy. (Because let’s face it, there are plenty of people who work out a ton and focus on their bodies but still struggle with relationships.)
I think it’s important to make a distinction when it comes to self care - it’s not just the surface level actions that make self care sexy…
It’s when your mindset changes, too. It’s the honesty with yourself and the openness you are creating with your partner because of that honesty. It’s being awake to how you’re feeling and then talking about it or doing something about it. It’s about making choices that make you a little bit uncomfortable.
Case in point -
Enter Coach Coop into our lives. As a personal trainer, Coop has been getting my husband Chris sweating and grunting three days a week for almost 9 months and the transformation has been incredible – Not just from how his body is transforming, but his mind and soul seem lighter. Coach Coop gives Chris someone to laugh with, talk deeply to about anything he wants, plus it’s made him start to care about how he looks in his clothes. It helps that Coach Coop is giving him wardrobe advice that I’d never get away with… thanks Coach ;)
When Chris came home one day with some new clothes and did a fashion show for the kids and me, all of the sudden right before my eyes, my handsome and adorable husband became sexy!! Sexy!! So sexy, Desi said, “Dad you look so cool, are you sure you can get away with being so cool?”
And that’s when it hit me, I gifted the personal trainer sessions for Chris out of my love and fear of losing him before I was ready. And what metamorphosed was a sexy man who has someone to motivate him, talk with him, laugh with him, someone who finds self care fun. All of us in the family are benefitting from it, too.
So back to you -
Can you get honest with yourself and see what self care shifts might not only feel good to do, but also boost your sexiness factor?
Can you commit to self care not only for the surface level benefits but for the deeply sexy vibes that will help you be a better partner and human?!
I know not everyone can afford a personal trainer, but a great substitute could be exercising with a friend: Make a walk date with a friend or sign up for a class with them instead of meeting for drinks.
Beyond just exercise, here are a few other ways to consider your self care habits:
Do you know that saying no to that extra glass of wine is self care?
Or leaving an anxiety dump for a friend is too.
So is putting your phone away at 9pm and reading until you are ready to fall asleep.
Or making an appointment with a therapist.
Meditation or keeping track of your daily gratitudes are also proven ways self care works.
Playing and laughing are also self care.
Self care as a new parent means sleeping every time your newborn sleeps.
Self care means saying No to that volunteer request to make three dozen cookies.
Or turning off Netflix and going for a walk around your neighborhood.
There are so many ways we can get self care in, and yet it is so hard to do. The key is to remember self care is easier A.) when done with someone else and B.) when you remember that self care is sexy.
Let me know how it goes :)
Andrea
p.s. For the first time EVER I’m hosting a free group Q&A session to offer coaching and communication tools to help you thrive in your relationship. Click here to grab your spot! I want to answer your questions.