Do You Love Your Dog More Than Your Husband?

“I think you’re more into your dog than your husband!” 

My client had just told her friend how much she looooooves her dog, and that was her friend’s response. 

She laughingly said back, “Duh, he’s so easy to love. I think everyone feels that way.”

It got me thinking about all of these beautiful fuzzy yummas out there and how much love, praise, and affection we give to them versus how much we give to our partners – or even to ourselves.

…………..

My dear friend sent this to my group chat the other day:

Today is Chloe’s adoption day. “Who rescued who” is what I’ve always asked her.

Rescued her from what? The doldrums of marriage, motherhood, work, being an adult with endless responsibilities? Likely so. 

I know getting our yumma Bochy has brought so much joy and laughter and positive reinforcement into our lives. I often catch myself saying to one of my kids, “Come Livi, come!” And when she does I always follow it up with, “nice job, who’s my good girl?” She smiles then rolls her eyes, knowing she got suckered into being treated like a dog. But the thing is it’s totally unconscious. It’s just how I speak to Bochy and now how I speak to her.

Then there’s my husband Chris who is often found lovingly looking into Bochy’s eyes, talking to him, or carrying him around the house like he’s a big 60lb furry baby.

Now I know I weigh 70lbs more than Bochy but it’s been a long time since Chris picked me up and cradled me in his arms! And it’s probably been even longer since I contorted myself to make eye contact with him, with overflowing amounts of joy and enthusiasm.

But what if we changed that? 

What if after I did the dishes, Chris said, “Oh thank you, thank you, thank you for doing the dishes!” and gave me a snuggle. Or what if I stood on a chair to look Chris in the eyes and gave him a huge smile and said, “I see you gorgeous one,” then kissed him. And what if my friend asked her husband, “Who rescued who?” 

Might we all be happier?

What do you think? Could you love up your partner the way you do your fur baby? 

I’d love to hear your thoughts- feel free to comment below! 

Andrea

P.S. Funny story - I read the above blog post to my husband Chris for his feedback before I published it. 

He said, “Hmmm, I’m not sure, I need to let it sit a little longer.” 

Then about an hour later, after I had found the TV clicker that went missing, Chris responded with, “Who’s the best wifey!?!?'' 

We were both rolling with laughter, and you know what, I felt loved and seen and celebrated.

So the unofficial research is in - treating our partners like we would our dogs can make us happier and more connected! 

(And I think the author of this Modern Love essay from the New York Times found out something similar in her actual research. Enjoy!)