how a giant red truck reminded me of my power
Back in December, Livi and I flew into Seattle and rented a car to drive to Vancouver for the final concert of Taylor Swift's Eras Tour. Surrounded by fellow Swifties on the flight, we all seemed to have the same idea of flying to Seattle and then driving north.
As we were waiting in this ridiculously long line to get our car, a huge red pickup truck drove up, and I jokingly said to Livi, “maybe we ask for it.” Well, a few minutes later, I flagged down the guy working there and said we’d take it. Whatever would get us off that line and on the way sooner!
From a distance, the truck looked fun, cool, and exciting, but as we got upfront and personal, it looked ginormous, intimidating, and even dangerous. Since we’d gotten out of the huge line, I didn’t feel comfortable opting for a different car and didn’t want to spend even more time in that line. So I kept the car, adjusted the mirrors and seat, got the GPS going, and then set off to Shake Shack on the way to Vancouver.
I have not felt that kind of physical discomfort, stress, and anxiety in my body, maybe ever. Did I mention it was raining? There I am, driving 50 mph on the highway asking Livi if I should put on the hazard lights to warn other drivers that I was dangerous.
We get to Shake Shack, I somehow parallel park this monster truck, and we go in to get food. This is when the anxiety is free to roam. I’m freaking out, thinking we should return the car to the airport.
But here’s what I did instead:
I asked Livi to give me a big, strong hug.
I jumped up and down and shook the anxiety off of my body.
Then we called Chris, and I asked him to tell me that I could do it. And he reminded me that I could do it and that I could not drive 45/50 mph on the highway since it was raining and I had Livi with me, my most precious cargo.
And you know what happened? I drove us to Vancouver, in the rain, under the night sky, and through the new roads like I was “The Man!” I got so confident that on the drive back the next day, I found myself getting to 90 mph so that we wouldn’t miss our flight!
While I don’t recommend speeding in a giant red truck, I wanted to share this story to give you some tools for responding to anxiety when it takes over.
Remember these three things: 1. physical touch (like a hug) or a heavy blanket, 2. shaking/jumping your body up and down, and then 3. finding yourself a cheerleader to remind you of what you’re capable of.
When the anxiety feels way way way too overwhelming, it’s possible to move through it and reclaim your confidence. And you can be that cheerleader for your partner, too, when they need it.
with love,
