sleep on it.

Have you ever said to yourself or your spouse, “Let’s sleep on it?”

Well, here’s a reminder that it’s a very sound approach to use during a relationship conflict or a big decision!

Often, people are tired, stressed, and scared but unaware of it. Getting some quality sleep sheds light on whatever is ailing them, giving them a clear head and a fresh perspective.

The piece that needs to be in place is a commitment and agreement to discuss this issue in the morning after getting some sleep—and then keeping that commitment. When you don’t, you risk building up resentment and creating distance with your partner. By taking a night to sleep on it, you slow things down so you are not making a rushed decision.

Even though you will likely feel better after a night of sleep, still have the conversation that started to bring up so many feelings the night before. Think of it as pouring hydrogen peroxide on the infection of resentment.

In our world of instant gratification, there is real wisdom in actively slowing down when life gets complex, tricky, or upsetting. Discussing issues when you are triggered is never a productive practice.

So remember to sleep on it: take pause, get some rest, regroup, and see if the conflicts get resolved more smoothly and with less hurtful comments once you have an untriggered nervous system.

I’d love to hear how it goes!