I love Joni Mitchell and her song The Circle Game, which goes:

“and the seasons they go round and round, 

and the painted ponies go up and down, 

we are captive on a carousel of time, 

we can’t return, we can only look behind 

from where we came, 

and go round and round and round 

in the circle game.”

Relationships are just like this, moving round and round through the seasons. Of course, they do. All of life follows this pattern. And yet, so often, we mistake the metaphorical winter of a relationship as a permanent state. 

When you first met it was the season of springtime of your relationship, when things were blossoming at a rapid pace, the sex was HOT, even their arm hairs looked gorgeous to you, and you were falling in love. It’s easy to blame and resent our partners that the sex and connection is not like it was when you first met… but of course, it’s not. 

Remember that spring flows into summer, summer into autumn, and autumn into winter. And winter also flows back into spring. 

I think a lot of people make the mistake of getting separated or having an affair or filing for divorce during the “winter” of their relationship. Instead of waiting for the spring thaw by creating a little 🔥heat!

If you are feeling wintry 🥶in your relationship, the lesson is not to stay in the icy frozen tundra of resentment, anger, and fear but rather to get cozy and snuggled up together and dream and talk about things.

✦ Make eye contact regularly, and let your gaze hold each other's gaze and watch how the ice begins to melt.

✦ When you hug, try to hug so your thighs touch, it makes a difference.

✦ Notice how many things you haven’t said or shared with your partner during this long, frozen winter, and start talking. 

If you've been in winter for many years and have created an 🧊iceberg, do not underestimate the power of the ☀sun to help melt the ice and bring the connection back into your marriage.

The more you talk and make eye contact and hug, the warmer things become, and the sooner the groundhog will see his shadow and spring will return. 

And the seasons will continue to go round and round. You might wind up in winter again, but it doesn’t have to be feared, as it’s to be expected and enjoyed. 

Cheers to embracing all the seasons,
Andrea