how to travel with your partner (without having a breakdown)
Throughout the years in my therapy practice, a common conflict comes up all of the time regarding travel habits.
It usually comes down to this:
Person A of the couple loves to be at the airport and checked-in 2 or 3 hours before the flight.
Person B of the couple is okay with sauntering onto the plane right before they close the doors.
Person A thinks catastrophically about the possibility of missing a flight.
Person B would prefer not to, but doesn’t get super stressed about it, because there’s always another flight that can be taken.
So what are we supposed to do when each partner is so diametrically different? What happens when our views on travel time or anything else are in conflict with our favorite person in the whole world? Chances are it’s a little bumpy.
I’m here to help you navigate it!
In my relationship I’m a get-there-at-the-last-minute kind of gal, whereas Chris is a 2-hour-early kind of guy. So I’ve personally learned a few things about what to do the hard way!
Real life footage from a friend text group:
Here are 5 of my favorite ways to stay sane and connected while traveling with your partner, all proven to work well for me and my people!
1. Meditate before traveling. I like to meditate before flying as it helps me stay settled internally when the whirlwind of anxiety swirls around me. Even just two minutes of mindfulness does magical things for your anxiety. I love using Insight Timer, but any of the apps are great.
2. Honor the early bird. I often suck at this, but it is always my intention to follow my husband’s need to be early for our flights. This is important, because when I’m able to do this, I’m honoring my husband’s feelings, I’m showing him that he and his needs matter to me. And duh, of course he does so why wouldn’t I behave in alignment with this feeling. And when he’s more relaxed everything else is easier.
3. Make a personal promise. I make a vow to myself that I will keep my peace internally. As soon as I notice myself squeezing and tightening, I remember my vow and take a breath and come back to my inner peace.
4. Keep this phrase in your mind. I chant a mantra I was given a number of years ago, “We’ll get there when we get there. Not a minute before and not a minute after.” This phrase helps keep inner peace and not resist whatever is happening in the moment.
5. Connect to your Why. Remind yourself over and over why you’re doing something that isn’t in your nature; i.e. because it’s good for my partner and being good to my partner is good for me.
And finally, keep in mind that every couple at the airport is likely navigating this same dynamic. Anxiety is contagious, as seen through the breeding ground of anxiety in full force at any airport.
In an airport where people and kids are melting down everywhere you look, be the one that starts a different trend!
We got this,
Andrea