traveling without your partner (or them without you)
Our month of travel-related relationship advice continues!
Last week we covered how to stay sane when traveling WITH your partner; this week we’re talking about what to do when you travel separately from your partner.
When this inevitable moment happens where one of you must leave for a bit without the other, it’s important to stay connected in a way that works for both of you.
Too often I hear from couples who feel forgotten, unimportant, resentful, abandoned, and scared, by the lack of or the quality of the contact they receive from their partner when they’re traveling.
And let me clarify that being apart is not a problem. In fact, time apart is very important in any relationship (as we learned painfully during the pandemic).
What matters is how you stay in contact.
I’m not saying you have to be in constant text contact or on the phone a ton, but you can find the rhythm that works for both of you and communicate about it.
It’s about sending the selfie from the top of the mountain, or the drunk text expressing your love at 2am with a picture of yourself having a blast on the dance floor.
It’s about the FaceTime call the next morning from bed to hear how things are going on their side of the world, and then listening without resisting about how the baby didn’t sleep last night or the dog threw up or how much they are missing you.
It’s about letting your partner know you are thinking of them and also sharing your experience with them.
Getting ready to travel solo?
Here are some helpful questions to ask each other:
What’s your general schedule like? When should I expect to hear from you?
I’ll text you every night before I go to bed, it’s okay if you don’t respond until the morning. Does that work for you?
Is there anything you need from me while I’m away?
And remember to leave your partner a little love note in the bathroom. A post-it note on the mirror will be a daily reminder of your love ❤️
Remember:
Contact starts from the heart, so do it out of love, curiosity, and a spirit of sharing, not obligation.
As a first step, why not share this email with your partner?
To your connection,
Andrea
P.S. For those of you who have small kids…
Another useful little tidbit I learned from the book How to Not Hate Your Husband After You Have Kids is this:
When you come home from traveling, be prepared to be “on” because your partner has been home not only working but single-parenting full time. Drop your luggage, wash your hands, and pick up that baby!