Happy belated Thanksgiving, Brenda!

Hoping that everything went smoothly, especially if your extended family were in the picture. Because we all know, as we gather around the table with family, tensions can arise, leading to misunderstandings and conflict. With more holidays on the horizon, I wanted to offer some tips for staying sane and navigating complexities with grace. 

Here are some practical tips to help you maintain your sanity and strengthen your bond with your partner when dealing with in-laws:

1. Communicate Before Committing

It’s so tempting to respond immediately when family extends an invitation, but take a breath! Give yourselves the time to discuss your needs and boundaries together. If you feel pressured to reply, say something like, “That sounds like a great idea! Let me talk it over with [partner’s name] and get back to you.” This way, you’re both on the same page and ready to tackle any holiday plans together.

2. Find Humor in the Absurdity

Holidays can sometimes bring out the quirks in family dynamics. Use this as an opportunity to solidify your bond as a couple. On the drive over, why not chat about the possible shenanigans that await? Predicting the craziness might make you chuckle instead of getting triggered. That shared look across the table when a family member makes a comment can become a delightful bonding moment—especially when your mother-in-law casually says, “You’ve really grown into the Midwest,” implying you’ve gained a few pounds. Laugh it off together!

3. Express Gratitude for Each Other

Before entering the “battle ground,” take a moment to remind each other of the things you genuinely appreciate about one another. Filling each other's emotional buckets will bolster your spirits and strengthen your connection, making it easier to face any challenges that may come your way.

4. Schedule Individual Time

Especially if children are involved, it’s vital to carve out specific time for both of you to have alone time during the holiday chaos. Whether it’s a workout session or a coffee date with a friend, having personal downtime will help you recharge and maintain your sanity amidst family obligations.

5. Make an Effort with Your Partner’s Family

Investing in your spouse’s parents can be a beautiful gift to your partner. Find ways to intentionally connect with them, whether through small gestures or quality time together. It shows your partner you care about their family, strengthening your relationship in the process.

6. Acknowledge Those Who Are Missing

For those who’ve lost parents or loved ones, the holidays can amplify feelings of grief. Encourage your spouse to create space for remembrance and celebration of those who are no longer with us. Supporting each other during this time can deepen your connection and provide comfort.

With these tips in mind, you can navigate the complexities of family gatherings with grace and humor, all while strengthening your partnership. Here’s to enjoying the holidays together!

With love and peace,

P.S. If you’re navigating these holidays solo or newly going solo, real kindness towards yourself is essential. Be brave enough to ask your closest people for what you need and ways you can feel supported during what could likely be a painful and lonely time. And if you are the closest person to someone who is about to spend the holidays alone, keep all that in mind and reach out with love and belonging.