Whether it’s your first time in therapy or not, it can be tough to bring up the subject with your partner when you feel it might be time to start couples therapy together. 

While it doesn’t have to mean anything is seriously wrong, there can be stigma surrounding it, and a fear that your partner will not like the suggestion or will assume you’re thinking about divorce or something more extreme. 

The first thing I want to say is that couples therapy is not a sign of weakness; it’s actually a sign of caring. Think of it as an invitation to spend an hour a week devoted to focusing on each other, your marriage, and the ways you’re communicating and navigating life together. 

If you keep having the same fight and don’t address it, it’s like what water does to sandstone: You don’t notice at first, but eventually, a tiny bit of wear and tear becomes the Grand Canyon.

Stop that erosion before it's too late! 

Since I know it can be hard to find the words, here’s a script you can use to bring up starting couples therapy with your partner: 

Hey, there’s something I want to talk to you about. I'm a little nervous because I don’t know how you’ll respond. It’s not bad, and it’s just new.

I’m noticing… [we’ve been having the same fight, or insert whatever has been coming up.]

So, I’d like us to start couples therapy.

The main reason I want to do it is that I love you, I love us, and I love our family, and I want to do something with you that will help us be stronger as we continue on. 

I’ll reach out to find some referrals and see what availability and fees are like. Please tell me a couple of chunks of time each week you’d be willing to commit to. 

We can go for 6 sessions and see what we can do!

It takes vulnerability and bravery, but it is so worth it. 

I hope this script helps! Let me know how it goes, and if you’re looking for more support and practical tips to make your relationship flow better, join me on TikTok or Instagram! I’ve been having SO MUCH FUN there and would love to hear your comments and stories.  

To your relationship,