There’s a song with lyrics I LOVE by Sullivan Pugh that goes like this:

“May the works I’ve done speak for me,
At the end of the day,
There is nothing more to say,
May the works I've done speak for me.”

When we say I love you, but we chronically don’t listen…
When we say we’ll do something - but don’t…

Our actions are speaking for us, telling a story for us.

And so, this month, I encourage all of us to listen to ourselves - 

What are your actions really saying? 

Pay attention to the things you’re doing that you’ll say you’ll do. 
Pay attention to what it is you’re really communicating. 

Whether it’s getting out of bed to happily run to Walgreens at 10pm to pick up their prescription when they are sick, getting up a bit earlier to make breakfast, or responding to their text messages with hilarious emojis… there are many ways your actions ARE expressing your love.

One of the homework assignments I love giving to my coupled clients is this -

I ask each of them to write a list of 25 things, big and small, that their partner can do that will make them feel loved. Then, exchange lists. 

When you start doing the things from your partner’s list, you’re making deposits into the relationship account, which makes each person feel deeply loved.

When you’re the one giving, you get to see them light up, to witness how your actions are making an impact.

And if you’re reading this thinking, “why do I have to be the one to give when it feels like they are the one slacking?”

I’ll remind you that every relationship needs a leader.

AND - Giving the thing you most want to receive can be the magic that shifts the dynamic.

Have fun with your actions this month, and don’t hesitate to let me know how it goes!

Andrea