As I write this, both of my kids are away at summer camp for a full month. This morning in our oddly quiet house, I missed my punk rock, death metal singing song bird of a daughter.

I remember my anxiety before they left, wondering what Chris and I were going to do while they were away and thinking how quiet, slow, and boring our lives would become… 

And then I remembered what my dear friend had told me - She credits her parents staying married for 50+ years with the fact that all of their kids went to sleepaway camp for a month every single year. The benefits of sleepaway camp are great for everyone involved - even the New York Times agrees.

Having space without the kids means going back to the time before you were married before you had all these responsibilities, when you could actually date each other AND enjoy downtime alone. 

Because there’s a time to embrace the honeymoon vibe - and even have an affair with your spouse, as I spoke about a couple of weeks ago. 

And then there’s a time to sink into taking care of yourself: whether it’s a yoga class or just being alone and getting shit done, talking to a friend, paying the bills, cleaning out a drawer, or simply puttering around in your own space by yourself. 

A month's break allows you to be in a relationship on all fronts in different ways. 

Whether or not you have kids, whether or not you’re able to send them to camp, I encourage you to find small ways to make space for getting back the spark with your spouse - and also with yourself. 

This month is not only about Chris and I falling back in love, but it’s about me reconnecting with myself. (because even if you’re having an affair with someone, you still are going to want space from them sometimes ;) 

Keep staying true to yourself! And reach out if I could be of support.