They say Disney is the happiest place on earth and Christmas is their most loved holiday… but are they really?! 

For sure, there are “Disney people” and “Christmas people,” and I know and love many of them. But the thing about putting this expectation on everyone to love the holidays or consider them “magical” is that it creates unrealistic, perfectionist ideals. It leaves no room for the tantrums that both kids and adults throw, for the stress, for the loneliness, for the sad memories of past holidays where hurt was left behind. 

For me, I found out my parents were getting a divorce on Christmas Eve. That’s something I can never erase from Christmas. 

And right now, many people are going through the range of challenges that can come up: 

• Some are in the midst of a divorce and will be experiencing Christmas on their own without their kids, which is very complicated. 

• Others are in the hospital, healing or dying or caring for a sick child or spouse. 

• Some are experiencing their first holiday without someone they love- a child, spouse, parent, friend, or sibling- which needs lots of love and understanding just to get through this holiday.

• Many people are drowning in wrapping paper, regretting buying so much. 

• Some people don’t have a consistent holiday tradition because everything is constantly shifting, and they don’t know where to be for Christmas. 

• Many people are working and unable to take time off to be with complicated family members. 

• Many people feel an expectation of buying the same number of gifts that they purchased in years past when financially they are not in the same place. 

• And some may be nostalgic for that time when everyone would come together for Christmas when now the best you can hope for is a quick zoom. 

This is a complicated time of year, and you can still look for small moments of bliss. To do so, you have to slow down and get a little quieter and actually taste the egg nog, feel and receive the hug, and marvel at the tantrums (because if you just observe them, they can be really entertaining!), and pay attention to how we might numb ourselves out with alcohol, food, or our phones, in order to get through this complex time of year. 

And so, when you're reading this, if you’re reading this, I hope you feel a little more at peace with the acknowledgment that it’s all complicated. 

And I also hope for you the following: 

May you be happy.
May you be healthy. 
May you be kind to yourself and to others. 
May you love yourself just as you are. 
May you be safe. 
May you live in peace. 

Cheers to a merry, complicated Christmas or whatever holiday you celebrate,